1) When a guy open a car door for a girl, it’s either the girl is new or the car is new.
2) A guy asked you for sex and you asked, “Do you Love me?”. What do you expect him to say, or Are you a LEARNER?
3) Half naked girls are hot, while well dressed girls are beautiful. Hell is hot, while heaven is beautiful. The choice is yours.
4) You have been engaged to him for four years and no wedding is forth coming. Please kindly remove the ring. Is your finger a ring holder?
5) You have slept with over ten (10) girls without protection yet you go to the barbers shop with your personal clipper you need Jesus!
6) Guys always know who their heart belongs to, so if you like cook chicken in diamond sauce or do monkey style in bed, if it’s not you, it can’t be you.
7) In America when a couple go to bed they will say “Good nights my love” In Britain, “Sweet dreams darling” In Nigeria “Did you lock the gate, doors and windows?
8) You cannot say “I can’t date you, I have a boyfriend” and be asking for money from him. Gt-bank staff cannot receive salary from UBA bank!
9) My name is A’square, I used my friend to set up my girlfriend to see if she’ll cheat on me. Now they’ve sent me weeding Invitation. What am I? A) destiny helper B)God sent C) Fool
10) No Guy will ever tell a Lady “I’ve a Girlfriend” when asking her out. Their National Anthem is “We had issues and we’ve broken up”.
11) Welcome to Nigeria where the government is responsible and blamed for every damn things. if mosquito bite you, you will blame the government.
12) No guy is single, you either snatch him from someone or share him with someone, the most important thing is to be the highest Shareholder.
13) I woke up today, someone somewhere just took their last breath. Thank You God for blessing me more than I deserve.
14) Thirty-five (35) years old first class graduate without job and you are following Lil’Wayne sing, I aren’t got no worries, your life is on SOS.
- 15) Idiot girls said “I dated him for GOOD ten (10) years and he broke my heart” fool, what’s GOOD in the years?
16) a) Sex won’t make him love you. b) A baby won’t make him stay. If you’re doubting me, kindly ask TUFACE!
17) No matter how nice you are to a goat, it will still eat your yam.
18) You make his ‘Dick’ hard, you carry him enter room, he then put off his shirt, then you shout “April Fool…” My sister, he will RAPE your Destiny!
19) What shall it profit a girl to have all the Brazilian hairs in the whole world and still lose her boyfriend to a girl on low a cut?
20) Kill an American citizen and one (1) million policemen will be deployed to search for you but kill one (1) million Nigerians you will be invited for amnesty.
21) Don’t act like you have it all, even rich men beg for pen in the bank.
22) No matter how big your house is? How recent your car is? Or how huge your bank account is? Our grave is still going be the same size, stay humble.
23) No matter how pretty or cute your face might be? You will still be the food for the worms. Set your arrogance aside and remember six (6) feet. No one lives for ever….